Homosexuality and the Christian: Will Love Win Out?

Love Won Out was the book of choice this past weekend when I was at home. I had hurriedly chosen the book a couple of weeks ago near closing time at my favorite bookstore in town. Buy five books for a dollar, get the sixth one free. Seriously. How much better does it get? The trade-off, however, is that none of the books are organized. Doesn’t bother me though. Half of the fun is discovering new titles and authors.

I have been thinking a lot about homosexuality lately. No, no, no. Not as an “alternative lifestyle” choice for myself. Rather, I know that in my career I will be confronted with gay and Lesbian clients who may or may not bring this issue to therapy. Thus, I am aspiring to become more comfortable with the idea of homosexuality. This isn’t popular in the Christian circle because many Christians equate loving homosexuals with condoning the sin of homosexual thoughts and behaviors. I am in no way establishing that I believe that homosexuality is acceptable to God. And yes, I did find the California ruling to be grievous. However, we as Christians must pray for grace and empathy to reach out and love our homosexual neighbors.

The authors of Love Won Out, John and Anne Paulk were both formerly gay. As I read the first part of the book in which their childhoods are described, I found myself close to tears many times. Both of their experiences were repulsive. The molestation incidents, the access to and naive viewings of pornography…it was all so horrible. These stories that depicted situations in which their youthful innocence was robbed made me exceedingly thankful for my own carefree younger years. How blessed I am to have been raised in a godly, two-parent household!

I continued through the book and learned about both John and Anne’s separate accounts of sexual confusion, promiscuity, rejection, and yearning for love. I read about two very broken people, and at the book’s culmination, I realized that we as Christians cannot perpetuate either the disgust of homosexuals as people nor the long-held position of ignoring the issue and hoping that it will go away.

We absolutely need to continue public policy efforts to retain (and reinstate, in some areas) marriage as being a sacred institution between a man and a woman. Our motive must be one of love, though, and not because we choose to remain scared, uncomfortable, and unknowledgeable. I believe that many homosexuals are God’s children who have been consumed by the lusts of the world.

But I cannot claim to be any better than they are.

No Sunday School

For those of you who don’t check out the links that I have selected on the right-hand side of the page (haha, don’t feel too guilty), I want you to check out today’s featured Boundless article, “The Family Integrated Church”. I thought that it was interesting and would like to read your thoughts on it.

I don’t know whether I’ve shared this story or not, but a couple of semesters ago I remember going to a friend’s house. I had been to this person’s house quite a few times, and being the book lover that I am, I always liked to scan the family’s bookshelf. It’s located in the living room and holds a plethora of Christian interest books. I guess I had become familiar with many of the titles, so I was a little intrigued when I discovered that a new book had made its way to the top row of the bookshelf. Clearly an archaic book, it was probably one of the earliest editions of The Handbook of Denominations (or one of those other denominational guides). Perhaps it had been retrieved because my friend told the parents that I was a Primitive Baptist, and they wanted to learn more about my church.

One of the two prominent underlinings that had been recently made in the book under the heading “Primitive Baptist” had to do with our stance on Sunday schools. I can say that the underlinings were recent because my friend’s parents said that they had never heard of our churches until their child met me.

Based on the pro-Sunday school laudings with which my friend had formerly showered me through our friendship, I can only speculate that my friend’s parents felt the same way. And I certainly know now how they feel about my church.

But what if, for a brief moment when they were discussing the Sunday school issue as they perused that old book that they had retrieved from a dusty box in the far corner of the attic…what if they really did question whether Sunday school is a biblical principle?

Too Bad for Archuleta

I was really pulling for this kid. As far as vocals are concerned, he totally had more talent.

But he is young. I called my mom, and we consoled each other. haha. Then I went outside and shot the basketball around with my roommate for about an hour, which helped to relieve some of the built-up tension. Oh, it was there. The producers made us wait an hour and fifty-four minutes before they announced the winner.
Our house was definitely a house divided–Mom and me for Archuleta, Dad and my sister for Cook. The other two could care less.

And right now I could actually care less too because it’s just reality TV. What’s the big deal?

My Dad, A Fellow College Student

I am proud of this man for taking such a daunting (for him) step and going back to college. He has about five prerequisite courses to pass (and a GMAT to ace) before enrolling in an MBA program, where he’ll concentrate mainly on finance.

His first class was last night, 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. He called me on his way back home.

“So…are you the oldest one in the class?” I asked, and he replied in the affirmative. I inwardly cringed. From my own experiences in many college classrooms, college students of my age don’t seem to have much respect for older individuals, who tend to ask a ton of questions and drag out the class. I’m guilty of getting a little annoyed by them during my freshman year.

“I asked a lot of questions,” my dad said next. Oh great, Dad.

I guess this worked to his advantage, however, because a couple of girls in front of him and a guy to his side immediately wanted to be in his group when the professor announced a group project that is due in June. All I can say is, “These kids had better be prepared to work hard on that finance project if they want to be in my dad’s group. He won’t tolerate laziness, and they better not think that he’s going to do all the work.”

Look Who Graduated!

Here’s a picture from Kelsi’s graduation. She’s the pretty one on the left.  Look at that hair. I keep telling her, “Don’t cut it!” but she said that she’s going to anyway. Some child with cancer is really going to love her locks.

Have I mentioned before how scary it is to actually be growing up into a grown-up? Pretty soon I’m going to have to be financially independent, and that gives me the heebie-jeebies. I’m not worrying about it right now but instead thinking that maybe I should’ve paid better attention in my despised Family Financial Management class–in which I got an A, by the way! How I get As in my classes but feel like I don’t know anything about the material afterward is beyond me. I guess I’m just a good for-the-test studyer/crammer. It’s definitely not like that in my family classes.

Speaking of family classes, I had another person inquire about my major the other day. The question was a bit directed. This person asked something to the effect of “From what you’re learning in your major, which path are you going to take in child rearing–the way of the Bible or the ‘more modern Ritalin approach’?” This question didn’t upset me. I’m becoming more and more used to it (or at least to the raised eyebrows and looks that I get when I say that my minor is psychology because they don’t understand the title of my major).

This was my response:

Uh oh. You’ve hit a hot topic for me.
Ready for a lengthy answer?

First of all, my concentration is not child development; it’s lifespan development, so I don’t deal that much with the child aspect. However, I have had a parenting class and a child development class. With any subject, I guess, whether it be evolution in biology or the advancement of technology in engineering that could cause more ethical (and immoral) dilemmas or the liberalism of political science, I have to be discerning about the material that I am taught and how I use that information.

Secondly, the “Ritalin approach” is not at all a part of what we learn. If you were using that metaphorically, I understand. If not, let me tell you that the medicated state of our society is something that greatly upsets me and that I could never be a pharmacist because I am not an advocate of doling out the meds.

I appreciate your question, and I can understand the curiosity about my major. Contrary to some beliefs in the Christian circle, however, it does not necessarily have to be antithetical to the teachings of the Bible. I want to go into counseling. Although I won’t be doing the so-called biblical counseling, I will be able to teach couples and families communication techniques and so forth that are also important in relationships.

I hope this makes sense. Let me know if you want to know anything else about my major. I’d be happy to answer the best I can.

All Moved In and Nowhere to Go

Not that I need to be going anywhere at this hour anyway. It’s nearing 11. Figuratively speaking, though, I’m in my new apartment in a very unfamiliar town–a farm town that has a college in it. I live only an hour away yet was so blown away by the different culture of this place. The men in Wranglers and cowboy boots. The general lower SES of the locals. Everything in the town along two major roads. It’s quite a drastic difference from both my hometown and my college town. I’m not quite sure what to think of it all right now.

I was very nervous today about meeting the professor with whom I am going to be doing research for the next couple of months. Anyone who knows my serious handicap with directions knows that I was definitely nervous about navigating around a new campus and town by myself as well. Thankfully, these initial steps of getting accustomed to everything–the professor, the campus, my apartment, my roommate–are over.

And now I’m kind of lonely. My roommate is sweet albeit very introverted. We did have dinner at the most famous restaurant in this itty bitty town this evening, however, and it was good to break the ice a little bit. 

I was chatting with my brother earlier and asked him how I should meet people here. Haha…Barnes and Noble was his reply. Well, this town has no B&N, so Hastings may be my best bet. On a serious note, I’m praying for some friends. I’m not a fan of the bar scene, and right now during summer break there seems to be a dearth of activities. Maybe this summer is to be one of not only doing research and studying for that ‘ole test (you know), but also for growing closer to Him. For learning how to be alone and independent, content and joyful again. 

2 Books that I Want to Read this Summer

 

AND

About My Customized [Image] Header

It’s not something that I found in a Google image search, but rather it is from the trip that I took to Australia a year ago this month. For those who don’t know, on my way to Sydney a man on the plane had a heart attack (or so the rumor has it. Of course, we never received any verification due to HIPAA.).

When I first heard the announcement that we would be having a twenty-hour layover in Hawaii, I groaned. All I wanted to do was get to Australia and see my then-boyfriend, who had been studying abroad all semester. My stay in Hawaii was fantastic, though! I actually loved Hawaii more than Australia. The airline gave us all private rooms in the Hilton Resort on Waikiki Beach in Honolulu. My header is a shot that I took of the beach. 

The entrance to the hotel

Balcony view. Not the beach, but not bad at all I must say.

My room

School Bullying

Not the most interesting title. Sorry. I’m a little lazy tonight. I actually told myself that I’d try to get into bed earlier this evening, but I’ve been chatting online with my suitemate and Indonesian friends, so no such luck.

Okay, here is my latest kick: school bullying. It’s hard to hear my seventh-grade sister tell me on the way home from school about the mean words that a couple of sixth-grade boys directed at her earlier in the day. I mean, this really pains me.

“You’re weird.
 And you’re ugly too.”

Seriously?

And last evening Lauryn saw some girl in Alanna’s grade snub Alanna when they were in line for physicals. Alanna was apparently trying to be nice to this girl, and this girl was incredibly rude to her. It made Lauryn really upset. Good thing I wasn’t there.

Then I got to thinking, “Why can’t I be ‘there’?” This past year I was been part of a psychology research lab in which I went to an elementary school twice a week during lunch and mentored a fifth-grade boy who was at risk for being victimized. Basically, I was the cool college kid who showed up as part of a covert operation to elevate his social status. Whether it worked or not, I don’t know. Data collection is not yet complete.

Why couldn’t I do this for Alanna while I’m home on break and she’s still in school?

This is going to sound a bit superficial, but I dressed up really cute today. I didn’t overdo the cutesy, mind you. Just dolled up a bit in a way that would be totally appropriate to enter a middle school lunchroom. I made sure that Alanna and I sat inside the lunchroom and not in a private eating area. I wanted her peers to notice me as an individual and, most important, to notice the relationship between Alanna and me.

Long story short, I took some girl’s seat in the cafeteria on accident. I felt a tap on the shoulder and an annoying, pretentious-sounding, “Um, you took my seat….” 
I turned to face this girl, and she realized that I wasn’t in her grade. Immediately she was like, “Oh! Er…um…well….” Yeah, sweetie, I’m not a seventh-grader. And you’re not going to talk to me or anyone else like that.
But instead it was, “Oh my! I am SO sorry. I so didn’t mean to take your seat. Here, let me get up and get you a seat. Wow, I didn’t even know you were sitting here.”

“No, no. It’s okay. I’ll just go get one from over there,” she said as she scanned the cafeteria.
That’s right. Get your own seat. I didn’t see your name on it, and you sure didn’t have your stuff on it to claim the thing.

Some of the kids wondered if I was Alanna’s mom. I guess when you’re in seventh-grade and thinking that you’re the best thing that God ever created, distinguishing between a 21-year-old and a 40-or-so-year-old is pretty difficult. “Haha. No, I’m her sis-ter.” And all this with a smile on my face.

Really, I don’t want to sound hateful toward these kids. I’m more upset with their parents, I suppose, for not teaching their kids the importance of respecting one another. I’m upset with the school for not having a bullying intervention or awareness program. I’m upset with the people who think that ”kids shouldn’t let bullying bother them” and that “it’s just a part of growing up.” Yeah, there are mean people in this world at all ages. But kids don’t really have anywhere to go. Alanna is at the age when she can’t change schools or get a new job or make new friends elsewhere. From 8 in the morning until 3 in the afternoon, she’s stuck with the same peeps.

My little sister does have friends. However, the majority of Alanna’s female peers are in the midst of a huge popularity competition, and right now boys and the latest fashions and cell phones don’t quite appear on the top ten list of most important things in the world to her.

I have digressed from my soapbox of “people with whom I am upset.” Lastly, I am upset with myself. Like Alanna, I was a victim of relational bullying (more common with girls and still very much in the category of bullying) during the course of my secondary education, but I don’t remember my experience lasting so long or being so devastating. I can’t ever remember a time when someone called me weird or ugly to my face. But I have been there. I have an idea of the way it feels. And I am upset with myself because I didn’t let my light shine as I should have in school. I picked on the different kids behind their backs like everyone else did. It’s definitely a peer pressure thing. It’s about making myself look superior through denigrating another. Why didn’t I stop my friends and peers from their hurtful words back then? Why did I engage in such behavior myself?

I can’t not do something about bullying in our school district any longer. Tomorrow I am going to talk to the school counselor. After I eat lunch with my sister.

A question for my readers: What are your bullying stories? If you were bullied, how did you deal with it?

Gone for the Weekend

My sisters and I will be taking a road trip to the Lone Star State for the weekend. My cousin’s college graduation is tomorrow. Ahhhh! We’re growing up! Next she’ll be taking her biology degree and heading to a physical therapy program. Another three years, and she’ll be an official “doctor” (of physical therapy). I am so proud of her. She’s been extremely successful in life, but she has kept such a humble spirit through everything. Her love for the LORD is quite inspirational. You’re a blessing to me, Kelsi!